The Single Man's Rule of the Day Copyright (c) 2007 Amuk Entertainment LLC http://www.raddadsworld.com Daily rules for men living the single life. 7/31/2010 12:54:00 AM 20 Rad Dad's World 400 100 http://www.raddadsworld.com http://www.raddadsworld.com/images/TOTDImage.jpg GET SOMEONE TO CLEAN YOUR HOUSE. Living in a dirty crib is bad karma. One of your women should be able to take care of it. Personally, I have always thought that parceling the cleaning chores was the fairest. Your number-one woman should have the easiest jobs, while the newest recruit probably should do the bathroom or kitchen. http://www.raddadsworld.com DON'T COMPARE HER COOKING TO YOUR MOTHER'S If you start telling her how your mom cooked, baked, fried, or otherwise prepared food, and how good it was, then you had better enroll in some cooking classes, because you're going to be eating fast food until you learn to cook for yourself. http://www.raddadsworld.com ALWAYS MAKE SURE SHE TOUCHES YOU FIRST Even a light touch on your hand or arm is your signal to begin using the Braille system at will. http://www.raddadsworld.com IF SHE TELLS YOU TO BEHAVE LIKE AN ADULT... Act confused. No frame of reference. http://www.raddadsworld.com TELL HER YOU MEDITATE This move will free up a few nights each week for damage control or going back out on The Hunt or just sleeping. Make sure the girls know you meditate whenever the mood strikes you; that way, whenever someone accuses you of being missing in action, you can tell her you were at home meditating. http://www.raddadsworld.com DON'T IRON If she catches you ironing clothes, you'll be sentenced to it for the duration of the relationship. If she tries to force you into it, stand up and be a man. Pretend to agree to let her teach you, then burn one of her blouses by letting the iron lay on it too long. Simultaneously knock over the ironing board, making the hot iron just miss her cat as it falls to the floor. She'll never ask you to iron again. http://www.raddadsworld.com TELL HER YOUR LAST GIRLFRIEND DIDN'T UNDERSTAND YOUR PASSION FOR LIFE Translated, it means she wasn't able to put up with your drunken all-night benders and she didn't believe your stories about why you were out all night. http://www.raddadsworld.com ALWAYS OPEN DOORS FOR HER Don't stop until she tells you to. If you don't open her door, she'll tell everybody you're an insensitive clod, but if you do open her doors and she tells you to stop, then you're just old-fashioned. Which would you rather be? http://www.raddadsworld.com NEVER TAKE HER TO A BALLGAME She'll find out that beer costs $10.00 each and spoil your fun. http://www.raddadsworld.com IF YOUR FIRST DATE IS DINNER, DON'T EAT ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T HAVE A FACE Women typically are not attracted to men that eat rabbit food. If she is, you don't want her. http://www.raddadsworld.com